Dreaming?
by aranenumenesse
Summary: “I’m here, kid. I’m here. Go back to sleep…”


"Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you awake?" Can she get any cuter?

"I am now. What do you want, kid?" As if I don't know. Can smell her tears already.

"I… I couldn't sleep…"

"Come here, there's a spot for you. Kept it warm." At least that made her smile a little. Poor thing.

"I'm sorry I woke you up." No, you didn't. Was awake already. Couldn't sleep either.

"Don't worry. Try to get some sleep, okay? You have English lit first thing in the morning…"

* * *

It's kind of sad. I know she hates this. She can't get decent, eight-hours-a-night sleep no matter how hard she tries. Not even when she sleeps with me. In her bed it's the nightmares that keep her awake. In my bed she's too scared of hurting me to get some proper shut-eye.

She's so freaking small. Tiny. And exhausted. Have to start keeping an eye on her. Can't be a good thing that I can count her ribs just by feeling them up.

* * *

"Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks… Thanks for letting me stay…" Falling asleep already. She's so warm, practically burning against my chest.

"Anytime kid… Anytime…"

* * *

Should close my eyes. Sleep. Not just yet. It feels good just watch her. Moonlight hides all the signs of distress. Smoothes over small lines on her forehead. Blurs the colors, fading away dark blotches under her eyes. Everything's silver grey. Little blue. Little blue pixie sleeping next to me.

I shouldn't let her stay. I really shouldn't. There are already enough rumors spreading around the campus. Just yesterday Summers pulled me aside and asked what's going on between us. He had heard couple of students whispering about her nightly visits to me. I can't help wondering who is the bigger pervert? Me for allowing her to stay, or them for believing I could molest a child?

Child she still is. Barely seventeen. You can already tell that the man who's going to get her eventually will be one lucky bastard. She's got the looks and curves. She's got knowledge about the world well past her age.

* * *

"Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing… Just checking…"

"I'm here, kid. I'm here. Go back to sleep…"

* * *

Cuddling closer against me. Where the fuck do I put my hands? Any higher and I will grab her boobs. Any lower and we're talking about those parts of her anatomy I'd rather not think about at all. Come on, kid. Scoot over a bit… That's better. One hand under her head, other over her stomach.

I should really get some sleep. If not for else, she will be worried and pissed at me at morning if I stay awake all night. If she as much as catches me yawning, she won't come to me in weeks. Not before she's ready to keel over from the lack of sleep. She once nearly drowned when she fell asleep in her bathtub.

* * *

"Logan!"

"Marie? Kid? I'm right here. Calm down."

"Oh, God… Logan…"

"Hush… It was just a bad dream… I'm right here…"

"They were hurting you… I tried to stop them… Tried to tell them to stop… They didn't even see me! Just kept cutting and welding…"

"It was just a nightmare, kid… I'm okay. Nobody's hurting me…"

"It felt so real… I could smell the blood and burning metal… And they just kept hurting you…"

* * *

One of these days I have to tell her the truth. Things she sees when she's dreaming, nightmares about me being torn open… They're not dreams. They're memories. My memories. She got them when we touched at the Statue of Liberty. Magneto's machine took a chunk from her memory. She doesn't remember anything before waking up next to my bleeding corpse at the top of the torch.

One of these days I have to tell her the truth. I have been postponing that moment. I'm too much of a coward. Selfish bastard. I like having her in my bed. She belongs here. But how will she react when she finds out the truth? Will she still seek me out when yet another one of my sordid memories surfaces in the middle of the night and pulls her out of her dreams screaming and sobbing? I kind of doubt that. But she has the right to know.

* * *

"Logan?" She's trembling all over. What the hell…

"Yeah?"

"They're… Those visions… They're not just dreams." Oh, fuck… Here goes nothing…

"No."

"That… I see something that's really happened?" Believe me, kid. It happened.

"Yeah…" This is it. Fuck. She's going to leave. She's twisting away from me already. Oh, God.

"They're not dreams. They're memories. Your memories?" Don't. Don't look at me like that…

"I'm sorry." I'm so goddamned sorry… I never meant you to see those things…

"You… It's in you. All that metal… They put it in you…" Those hands running over my features, from forehead to jaw. To shoulder. Down my arm. How long until she screams? Until she remembers it all?

"Kid?" My turn to squeak and shiver. Gloved fingers sliding over my arm, trailing lower, stopping just below my elbow. She's crying again. Can't hear a sound from it, but I can smell her tears. I can feel them falling on my skin when she stares at my knuckles. Soon. She will get up and leave soon. She won't be coming back. Ever. Why would she?

* * *

"Why?" Why didn't I tell about that to you sooner? Because I'm a selfish bastard. Wanted to keep you close to me as long as possible.

"Why what?" Christ, my throat is dry.

"Why did they do it?"

"Because they could."

"Doesn't make it right. They had no right… No right to hurt you like that…" She's staying? She's not leaving? Scooting closer to me? What the fuck do I do with my hands? Where do I put them? I can't just touch her. Not anymore. Where the fuck…

"Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you hold me? I think… I think we would both sleep better if…"

"Is… Is this okay?" Her head tucked against my chest. Both my arms around her. Can feel her breath against my throat. I can still smell tears, but I'm not sure which one of us is crying. I'd have to open my eyes to find it out. Too afraid to do that.

* * *

What if I open my eyes and she's not here? 


End file.
